From those wacky folks who brought you Overheard in New York, come Cyranet greeting cards.
OK, the artwork leaves a little to be desired. But these are funny, hip cards!
Your Joycean email style never fails to stimulate but you may want to throw in some commas and capitals for the guys upstairs.
I only know how to torment you so effectively because we have such a special bond.
Good luck with the interview. For your weakness, be sure not to mention your utter contempt for people less intelligent than you.