From those wacky folks who brought you Overheard in New York, come Cyranet greeting cards.
OK, the artwork leaves a little to be desired. But these are funny, hip cards!
Examples:
Your Joycean email style never fails to stimulate but you may want to throw in some commas and capitals for the guys upstairs.
I only know how to torment you so effectively because we have such a special bond.
Good luck with the interview. For your weakness, be sure not to mention your utter contempt for people less intelligent than you.