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Tech jargon, boulders and other jive

Hate marketing-speak? So does Bob Hoffman, the Ad Contrarian. Anyone who commits marketing or advertising for a living ought to read his blog.

Bob’s a successful and savvy advertising executive who owns his own agency in San Francisco. He’s also a delightfully grumpy old fart who loves to snicker at the Emperor’s missing bloomers, as well as the foolishness of the people watching the parade.

Like me, Bob gags at what passes for B2B copy these days, especially the “cutting edge, state of the art, scalable” baloney favored by technology companies big and small:

“One way we can tell that the marketing and advertising industries are in dire straits is by listening to the language. From the HP website:

“… (HP’s) collaborative approach is tailored to a customer’s ecosystem to create adaptive infrastructures that use leading software products and architectures and leverage HP’s own expertise in the creation of adaptive infrastructures.”

“Spend time at a conference, read a trade publication, listen to a presentation and it soon becomes obvious that speaking plainly and clearly has become anathema to most marketing practitioners.”

As a copywriter and former technical writer, I confess I have been forced to write that kind of crap on any number of occasions. But in my defense, the clients flatly rejected my initial drafts — the ones written in plain American English, easily understood even by CEOs. The kind of everyday shirtsleeve English you and I speak to each other.

Can you imagine meeting someone new, asking what they do, and have them say, “Oh, we create adaptive infrastructures…”? Of course not. Nobody really talks like that. Not even the guys who wrote it.

I have a theory. See if you agree. I think vague, jargon-filled copy are like those giant boulders in old TV westerns. They’re really big, they slow down your enemies … and they’re really great to hide behind.

PS: After a month-long, self-imposed hiatus from blogging, Bob’s and his blog are back together. To be honest, I think he was considering a divorce, but settled on a trial separation instead. Since he’s pretty skeptical about the business value of social media, we’ll see how long he lasts. Enjoy his curmudgeonality while you can, kids.

photo credit: colinedwards99

How to Overcome Customer Cynicism

Sick of hype and hard sell? Good news. The Marketing Gurus seem to be catching on. Famed copywriter Clayton Makepeace just wrote an article that confirms what I (and others) have been saying for years: “Everything you think you know about attracting new customers and writing to existing customers is quickly becoming obsolete.” For example:

“One-shot customer acquisition promotions are going the way of the dinosaurs.

“Bombastic ‘big promise’ or USP headlines don’t work as well.

“High-octane sales copy is losing its power.”

Does this mean the outrageous promises, hard sell and hype are finally ending? We can only hope.

It’s good to hear a giant in old-time, hard-sell copywriting finally say what consumers already know. Today’s shoppers — of any age — are more savvy and more cynical than ever. They don’t fall for that old BS anymore. The credibility of media, marketers, corporations and small biz stands near zero when a prospect first catches your scent. That is especially true in email marketing and your website.

Bottom line: They don’t believe what you say. That’s why a good copywriter is so important. It’s up to the copy, the content, your message, to lift your credibility above zero. It’s all about what you say, and how you say it. That’s why, online or off, a good copywriter is worth his weight in gold.

There’s a better way.

Instead of promising the moon, take it slow. Let prospects get to know you first. You don’t propose on the first date, right? So don’t try to close the deal immediately either. In fact, don’t “sell” at all. Not at first. Instead, offer them your help — no strings attached. Give before you ask for anything in return.

Swallow hard and start giving away your secrets. Your best stuff. (Not all of it, of course.) Free information is only appreciated if it’s new and valuable, not more of the same old stuff they’ve heard a hundred times before. Offer them free samples of your product. A free trial period of your service.

Build a new marketing strategy around this concept: stop selling, start giving. Call it “Golden Rule” Marketing. When it’s well executed, it overcomes cynicism, reduces skepticism and raises credibility.

People don’t like to buy from strangers. Unless it’s some kind of emergency, they prefer to get to know, like and trust you first. Guess what? That’s actually better for you, too. Why?

Once you let prospects get familiar with you and your offerings, it is much easier to gently move them along to the next step (touchpoint) in the sales cycle. The more you share, they more they’ll care. That strengthens your relationship, and over the long term it’s much more likely to lead to a long-term relationship, enthusiastic referrals and a booming business.

Need help planning and executing your “Golden Rule” marketing plan? Let’s talk. Want to get to know me better first? Smart move! Sign up for my free newsletter (see form above), follow me on Twitter and/or let’s connect on LinkedIn.

Negative reviews? Fear not

It’s understandable for business owners and marketers to dread nasty feedback from unhappy customers. It’s even worse when they vent their spleens online, posting negative reviews on the company’s own or resellers’ websites, in independent customer forums, Amazon reviews, etc.

Some companies even go so far as to try and squelch or remove them if they can. Which isn’t exactly the spirit of openness and honesty the interwebs are famous for.

But surprise! Negative reviews are not necessarily the kiss of death. As CNN/Money (via Consumerist) reported, sales can still increase. One company discovered that sales on a particular sweater increased 23%, even though its ratings were less than stellar (e.g., three stars out of five).

“People are really researching their purchases,” said AlpacaDirect.com co-founder Jim Hobart. ‘We knew our customers liked our products, and we wanted them to tell one another.’

Here’s my take on negative reviews:

All reviews, even mediocre ones, tend to reduce the “fear of the unknown” factor which can stop sales in their tracks.
Something that might be a dealbreaker for one customer might not matter that much to another.
The seller appears stronger, more confident, even fearless, by allowing both negative and positive reviews.
And of course, negative reviews can be a form of market research. They can help you decide where you need to improve.

And be honest. Haven’t you ever read a negative review of a product or service you’re perfectly happy with? Haven’t you sometimes wondered, ‘What is this guy’s problem?’ A review that’s dripping with hatred and bile sometimes says more about the reviewer than the product.

photo credit: B Rosen

And a sprig of humbug in your eggnog…

Had enough of “Christmas Creep?” You know, the annual broadening of the Holiday Buying Season, the mistletoe appearing in stores before the foliage has even turned crimson (that’s after Halloween merchandise suddenly appears around the 4th of July).

Across the pond in the U.K., the Movement for the Containment of Christmas is fighting back against the ever-growing holiday retail season. According to The Consumerist, while some of the group’s efforts are civil, it has engaged in some rough stuff. Like pouring glue in the lock of a shop that began selling Christmas cards in (gulp) August.

I can sympathize with the group’s sentiment, but their tactics were unfortunate. Turns out the shop they targeted is run by a local mental health group, who was “selling off last year’s stock and making £70 a week for charity.”

NOW who looks like a Grinch?

Little words, big problems

Certain words, even tiny ones, can make a big impact in the mind of customers. Use the wrong word, and you can easily scare off interested prospects.

For example, I rarely use the word “Buy” in sales letters or their online equivalent, landing pages.

As a longtime copywriter, I know the “B” word carries a lot of baggage. It can cause some eager shoppers to hesitate just long enough to ask themselves, “Uh-oh. They want me to BUY? What exactly am I getting myself into?”

The solution? Substitute a different word. One that’s not so… intimidating. For example, I usually use the phrase “Order now” instead of “Buy now.” Do you feel the subtle difference in seriousness (or as the politicians call it, gravitas)? To “order” seems pretty harmless. “Buying” feels more serious.

“Contract” is another intimidating word. Even scary. This came up yesterday during the copywriting class I’m teaching at USM. After all, a contract is serious. It’s something you need a lawyer to look over. That’s why savvy salespeople, especially for big-ticket items like cars and homes, will downplay its significance. Call it an “agreement” or just “the paperwork.”

Don’t ask them to “sign” it either. Just hand them a pen and casually say “I just need your OK.” Or “I need you to approve this” or “Just give me your OK and we can get started right away.” The pen says it all. The buyer knows what to do: sign on the dotted line.

Bottom line: Don’t risk scaring away potential customers by using loaded words like “buy,” “contract,” or “sign.” Look for kinder, gentler ways to say it.

Welcome! Now go away

You’re sitting in a coffee shop after work. You’re at the laptop, trying to catch up on email. Suddenly you feel a tap on your shoulder. It’s a little boy, trying to get your attention. “Yes?” you ask.

The kid just grins his goofy 7-year-old grin and holds up a page of his coloring book. “Look what I did,” he says proudly. “Very nice,” you reply, and after a little polite chit-chat, you try to go back to work.

But just as you’re opening the next email, he does it again. “Look at this one!” he yells, shoving the coloring book in front of your face, blocking the monitor. You nod politely, then try to explain that you’re trying to work, so please don’t interrupt. But he refuses to listen. In fact, every time you open a new email or Web page, he does it again.

So let me ask you. How long would it be before you packed up your laptop and went somewhere else? Not very long, I bet. Well, guess what.

You may be doing the very same thing on your company website.

You know those pop-up and drop-down windows, the ones with the customer sign-up forms? They’re a lot like the annoying little boy. They’re constantly blocking a visitor’s view while they’re trying to read. Every click brings another one, just like the coloring book. No matter how many you close, another one always springs up on the next page.

They’re relentless. Soon you either give up and flee the site, or enter an email address. Maybe a real one, maybe a BugMeNot email.

I know, your high-priced marketing consultant promised those pop-up windows would increase opt-ins. Maybe they will, too. But at what cost? How many other visitors will get so annoyed they leave before they even see your great content? Why spend all that time and money on great copy and SEO, only to chase away potential customers?

Look, the old saying is still true. People like to buy from people they like. Many of us only buy from people we like. And it’s pretty hard to like someone who’s annoying.

Think about it. The logic of pop-ups is totally illogical. Most open within a few seconds of landing on a site. Hey, Mr. Marketer, why would I sign up for your newsletter or free e-book before I’ve even had a chance to look around?

As a longtime online marketing consultant and copywriter, I have learned what goes through people’s minds. When someone lands on your website from a search engine, the first thing she wants to know is, is this the right place? Is this where I wanted to go? Does this site have the answer to my problem? Does it have what I’m looking for? Do I feel comfortable here?

Pop-ups give your website visitors little or no chance to answer those questions.

Exit pop-ups — the ones that appear when you try to click away from a site — make more sense, at least. They’re less an interruption and more like conventional business. Like exchanging business cards (or getting a girl’s phone number). The message is, Now that you’ve had a chance to look around, want to keep in touch? Then sign up here…

If you’re considering using pop-ups to capture visitors’ contact info, I recommend exit pop-ups. But frankly, there are more effective ways to motivate visitors to fork over their email address. More about those next time.

Agree? Disagree? Am I way off-base? Do you love pop-ups? Sound off in the comments.